What if I’m a Hopeless Romantic?

I prefer not to live in reality.

Athira T J
3 min readOct 15, 2021

I learned recently that we human beings find it easy to focus on what we don’t have, rather than what we do. Yeah, let’s talk about hopeless romantics.


Before I jump into what exactly I’m talking about, I have a proud confession to make— I’m such a hopeless romantic, and I’m not ashamed by the perception of my views here as naive or schmaltzy.

But even though you may or may not be like me, the hopeless romantic meaning seems to be very negatively understood and portrayed. It’s almost considered synonymous with a person who is always on the losing end of the one-sided love, or someone who keeps getting heartbroken.

And that’s not entirely true.

So who’s a hopeless romantic?

According to the Dictionary, a hopeless romantic is “someone who holds sentimental and idealistic views on love, especially despite experience, evidence, or exhortations otherwise.”

This suggests hopeless romantics emphasize romance over idealism. They’re a dying breed of lovers who believe in fairy tales, and their ultimate goal is to romanticize everything in their lives. They seem to have a keen eye towards the beauty of things. Looking at the sunset and crying, reading a book over and over again to fall in love with the author, or being an incorrigible idealist.

They are in love with the idea of being loved and loving back. They dream to be romanced with sweet simple things and thoughtful surprises and just want someone to care for them and hold them, and tell them everything will be okay.

“I’m in love with you,” he said quietly.

“Augustus,” I said.

“I am,” he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”

John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Hopeless romantics often fall in love with the idea of someone and not the actual person. So do I.

I’m an elite idealist of love. On social media, I discuss love. I constantly listen to love songs and have an easy time falling in love with the little things around me. I always wish for just another person I could really talk to, who could really understand me, and who’d be kind to me.

But all these don’t mean that I’m always into one or the other romantic relationships, or that I’m only interested in films, books, and songs with romantic stories. It simply means that I appreciate affection and believe in the concept of genuine love.

Romanticize the hell out of your life.

It may always sound wonderful to fall in love with ease and dream about our favorite fictional couple. However, reality rarely matches our fantasies, which is where we may struggle.

Sometimes, we feel like we don’t live somewhere or live life in a romantic way — that sometimes it’s out of control. Thus, the hopelessness. I totally get that. It won’t always work, and that’s okay.

So why can’t we just stop searching and looking for something that’s personally unattainable, and instead, put the priority on other aspects of our life and experience joy and happiness with work, home, friends, and family? Do you kind of get what I’m talking about now?

I’m talking about taking every piece of our life and giving it love and intention.

I know it’s easier said than done, but this’s something we should try out.

Meet my romantic partner (she/her) who insisted me on writing this story.

I’m gonna start romanticizing my little world…where it’s just me, my workbench, my study resources, my books, fictional characters, and coffee.

Come, let’s romanticize, hopefully!